ADHD Couples VIP Retreat
OK, so you keep trying to make this relationship work, but:
- when you sit down to talk things through, things get worse instead of better;
- you can barely remember how it felt to be in love with your partner;
- you’ve both settled for far less than you deserve.
Isn’t it time you discovered The Secret to a great relationship?
“The Heart of the Matter: Sailing the Seven Cs to a Great Relationship”
Find out how to bring back the hugs and the giggles,
the deep affection and genuine communication,
the laughter and the love …
If you are fortunate enough to know a couple who has beaten the odds and stayed together for years, they will surely tell you that there have been some “rough times.” A deeply satisfying, lasting relationship is forged in the way you handle those “rough times.”
“Victor and I created the Heart of the Matter retreat because – with all modesty aside – we have built a marriage that exceeds our wildest expectations. It wasn’t because we came from extraordinary families or had unlimited time and resources. We did it in spite of life’s ups and downs – kids and step-kids, ex-spouses and child support, health problems and career changes. Heck, we even built a new house together!
Over the years, we tried couple’s counseling, weekend retreats, relationship books, psychotherapy, fighting fair, 12-step programs, coaching and more. And they all worked … to a certain extent.
But it was the combination of all those resources in tandem with our own commitment to each other that finally allowed us to click into a strong, steady relationship that grows deeper and more delightful each day.”
– Linda Roggli
Great relationships aren’t born, they’re built. A single weekend in the Piedmont of North Carolina could quite literally change both your lives. Together, the two of you will:
– Sail the Seven C’s to a great relationship (hint: the first one is Commitment)
– Learn the five secrets to appreciating each other fully
– Find out how to listen (and hear) with love
– Discover how to disagree without losing yourself
– Refocus your attention on the “little things” that can strengthen your relationship
Forged in the heat of blame; tempered by the deepest love
Married for 24 years (second marriages for both), Linda and Victor have long experience in the relationship arena. After a rocky start in 1991…and 1992…and 1993…and 1994…well, you get the idea. It took a long time for this battle-weary couple to wake up and realize that their most precious gift was right in front of them: their relationship.
Now they have a marriage that most people yearn for. “You two are the shining example,” says a dear friend.
But the Roggli’s aren’t much different from you. They didn’t sit before an ancient guru to divine the secret of lasting relationships (well, OK, there were a few therapists that had some good ideas, but the rest was all blood sweat and tears).
Rather, they learned a few simple concepts that literally changed their world. And they are willing to share them with you and your partner in a single, glorious weekend.
“I’m so glad we found your retreat. It was comfortable, secluded and life-changing.”
“You cannot begin to imagine the magic that can happen when you let yourself be guided by the spirit of GardenSpirit and Linda and Victor.”
“I learned I can listen, I can understand and that I’m not a bad guy.”
The format of the weekend is a combination of instruction, exercises you do alone with your partner and some group activities. The accent is all positive – Linda and Victor are there to help gently guide you to a relationship that is rich with meaning, friendship and love.
Many couples wait until things are desperate before making the decision to come to a Heart of the Matter retreat. But if you wait too long, it might be too late. So, the Heart of the Matter might be right for you if:
– You feel that something is missing from your relationship
– You don’t feel ‘heard” in the relationship
– You find yourself staying away from home, or from your partner
– You feel alone, even when you’re with your partner
– You talk to your friends more than to your partner
– You’re in a vicious cycle of blame and shame, guilt and pain
– You sometimes feel hopeless (but not all the time)
– You’ve slept on the sofa (or another bedroom) more than once this month
– You find yourself angry at your spouse much of the time
– You wish things would change but you don’t think your partner is willing to “work on it”
– You fantasize about finding someone who really loves you
Heart of the Matter retreat
You want to stay together, but you just can’t make it work.
Victor and I have been facilitating couples retreats since 2006. Our experience shows that the retreats transform lives, improve relationships and sometimes they even save marriages or intimate partnerships.
Although we have welcomed two or three couples at a retreat, we quickly learned that it can be more difficult for some people to be forthright and open about their relationship struggles in the presence of others. When one or both partner withholds information or emotions, the impact of the retreat is diminished.
So in 2014, we made a dramatic change to our retreat format. We now invite only one couple at a time to our guest house for a VIP ADHD Couples Intensive. There are four of us in the room: Victor and Linda and the couple who has booked the retreat with us
Our VIP Couples Intensives live up to their name: they go deep and wide, opening up both partners to a new way of interacting, a new approach to the relationship.
Victor and Linda are a “mixed ADHD couple” – Linda has an ADHD brain, Victor has a linear (possibly OCD) brain, so we are comfortable inviting ADHD couples into the retreat space.
We learned learned the hard way. It took a while for us to really “get it”.
Trust me, Victor and I struggled with communication for years. Too much. Too little. Too late. Our marriage suffered. It almost ended in divorce court. But we were determined to do it differently this time (yes, we were both married to other people before we married each other).
Thank goodness, we finally figured it out and now we teach other couples how to communicate so that the anger knot loosens and dissolves instead of tightening like a noose around your love and respect.
We’ve been facilitating couples retreats since 2006. We know the issues that face ADHD couples. Although there are seven steps to our master relationship plan, the one that is most stubborn is Communication. Talking to each other. Resolving conflicts efficiently and effectively.
The Communication Intensive is a weekend devoted solely to breaking old patterns and installing new ones that work. The same ones that work for us and have worked for years and years. Now they can work for you. Both of you.
So WHY ARE YOU STILL ARGUING?
Because no one gave you the opportunity to practice USING those useful tools before the heat of the moment swamped you both and you reverted to your old patterns, that’s why.
All that is about to change with a weekend of practical words-you-can-use-everyday instruction and experience. You and your partner/spouse/significant other will leave this weekend with an arsenal of tools that really work and (more importantly) you’ll know how to use them!
Seriously, if you are thinking about leaving your relationship, think again. It does no good to simply change partners. Why? Because guess who’s coming along to your next relationship? YOU. So if you don’t learn this stuff now, you’ll have the same communication problems in the NEXT relationship. Isn’t it time to stop looking over your shoulder to find something better? Your relationship – THIS relationship – can be better. A lot better.
There’s no magic bullet. But the good news is that it gets easier with practice. And we’ll make sure you have a lot of practice before you go home again.
Our only requirement for attendance is that BOTH of you are committed to your relationship. Otherwise it’s a waste of your time and money. If you want out, don’t come to Durham. But if you want a rich, loving relationship with your partner, it just might change your life. Truly.
The relationship you both deserve.
The day will be guided.
The two of you will retire to your private room at GardenSpirit Guesthouse for the evening.
Saturday evening will be a full-blown celebration with a special dinner (champagne and roses, of course) and a time for quiet, romantic conversation before retiring for the night.
While it’s possible to work on a relationship alone, it’s usually not effective. So, to make the most of this weekend, check in with your partner to make sure he or she is committed to playing at 100% for the sake of the relationship.
Funny, but when you really make the effort, not only does the relationship deepen and grow, but so do the partners! It’s amazing!
One more thing: this IS a relationship retreat, isn’t it?
You may be wondering about the context of this retreat — is it about s^x? Not really, although the retreat IS about relationship. Relationship often means s^x, but that’s not our main focus. Nothing kinky planned from our point of view! Just wanted to clear that up before your mind went off in a different direction!!!