Category Archives: ADHD inspiration

The soul connection among ADDivas and women with ADHD. There’s gotta be more to life than finally getting the closet organized or to the meeting on time. Your life is MORE than your ADD, it’s rich and full. Find out more here.

Gardening as ADHD therapy

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Spring gardening is the perfect antidote for ADD women. Look at the possibilities:

1. There is always something new coming up  – sprouts, flowers, seed pods…

2. You can make a huge mess and nobody cares because you're SUPPOSED to get dirty when you garden (cool, huh?)

3. Planting is really satisfying – plopping those seeds in the ground and waiting a week or so to see the new life pop through (even cooler!)

4. It's an OUTDOOR event; research shows that people are happier when they are outdoors around green leafy things, like trees and plants.

5. It's good exercise; ADHD improves with exercise. Read John Ratey's book "Spark" and you'll see what I mean.

6. Most important of all, gardening is good for the soul. It literally GROUNDS you. Sinking your fingers into the damp earth reconnects you to the earth and that, in turn, reconnects you to YOU.

Even if you're not a gardener (yet) and  think you have a brown thumb, try planting a few petunias or radishes. You might be surprised at the results.

Then write and tell me all about it….I love hearing about your experiences!

Hugs,

Linda

Mindfulness for ADDivas

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Shhh… hear the sound of silence?

It's my mindfulness class at Duke Integrative Medicine (http://www NULL.dukeintegrativemedicine NULL.org/ ) and we're sitting in the circle "watching" our breath, letting go of the noise from the yoga class next door and being gentle with ourselves when our thoughts overtake us again and again.

This week we also walked mindfully. Heel-toe, heel-toe, inhale-exhale. It requires an enormous amount of concentration. Attention, a lot of attention.

Jeanne van Gemert (http://www NULL.dukeintegrativemedicine NULL.org/index NULL.php/2009011919/about-us/our-physicians-providers-and-staff NULL.html#van_gemert), a mind body therapist and former sculptor is our instructor. I worked with Jeanne for a year or so to get past my financial abundance issues (still working on that). Her energy is calm and relaxing, generous and open.

It's wonderful to be in her presence. The practice of mindfulness – a conscious effort to stay present in the moment within your own body – brings me back to a place that is calming for my ADD mind.

It reminds me of Who I Really Am. I am not the crazed running-around woman trying to do everything, to get things done while chasing perfection.

I am. I just am. So are you. You are enough, just breathing in and out. In and out. You are alive. Whoo baby! How great is THAT?

More updates as I move through these weeks of refocusing my energy where it does the most good…within me.

The way you do anything is the way you do everything

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Think about it: if you procrastinate about doing your taxes you probably procrastinate about getting a massage or going to the grocery store, too. It’s not about the actual event or whether it’s pleasurable or not. It’s about dragging your feet or waiting til the last minute.

What’s up with that? Ah your ADDiva brain needs the extra push of adrenaline to get it going, m’dear. When we get excited or anxious or in a hurry, our brains perk up and work better.

That’s the whole idea behind prescription stimulants – waking up your brain without the effort of creating drama or chaos in our lives.

So when you leave the mess on your desk or your bed unmade, notice whether there are parallel circumstances in other areas of your life.

Chances are, the way you do anything IS the way you do everything. Until you change everything by changing one single thing.

HOPE – ADDiva lessons from an election

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It’s been three days since Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States. No matter whether you are ecstatic or bummed about the outcome, the election offers profound implications that should give all ADDivas a dose of that magic elixir: HOPE.

Why? Because we, like Obama, face a world that uses rigid standards to separate "good" from "bad" and "right" from "wrong." We, like Obama, have been judged harshly by those rigid rules. We, like Obama, have been the target of ridicule, the scapegoat for problems, the odd duckling among stereotypical swans.

But Barack Obama shows us that whether our difference is in the color of our skin, the way our brain works or how many times we are late filing our taxes, we can transcend those challenges and rise – quite literally – to the top.

I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life that I was so tired of trying harder, going the extra mile, thinking ahead of the business people around the conference table, that I wanted it all to STOP. I was sick of playing by everyone else’s rules. I was exhausted from untwisting my pretzel-like self into a semi-straight line that passed for "normal." I wanted to go to bed, pull up the covers and hide until that neatly pressed world marched right on past me.

I don’t know Barack Obama personally. I suspect there were times in his life that he was discouraged, disheartened by the uphill road ahead. But I notice he didn’t go to bed and pull up the covers. He kept moving. He renewed his efforts. And most importantly, he never stopped believing in his dream. Never.

ADDivas would do well to take nourishment from that determination. Many of our dreams have been discarded; they litter the roads of our distant past. We turn away from them as proof of our failures and an accurate predictor of our futures.

But women with ADHD are not failures. We deserve to revisit our dreams - resurrecting those that still inspire us and creating new ones that have nudged themselves into our adult lives. And as we make that slow turn toward ourselves, welcoming that woman who is truly a miracle, truly unique and precious in the world, we ignite that four-letter word in ourselves and in those who witness our transformation.

HOPE. It’s not about elections. It’s about life. Your life. And you.

Three stages of ADHD in women

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It has been my experience – both personally and professionally – that there are three distinct stages of ADD and ADHD recognition and acceptance for women.

Stage One: Nuts and Bolts – OMIGOSH, I have ADD! When women are diagnosed with ADD, there is often sigh of relief ("Ah, so THAT’s what it is. Thank goodness it has a name!") followed by a dig-in-and-fix-it determination ("Let me try everything and see what works").

Unfortunately the sigh of relief phase is usually quite brief. Continue reading →

Take off your makeup and let your ADD shine!

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I began my life as an undercover ADDiva with my first tube of Maybelline mascara that I bought with furtively saved allowance, away from the disapproving eye of my mother (whom I later tutored in the fine art of not poking out an eye when applying the jet black lash builder). At the time, I thought I was merely transitioning to adulthood. But it was more than that.

A thin veneer of foundation, blusher, eyeliner and Bonne Belle lip gloss became my mask of normalcy. Continue reading →

ADD women and spirituality

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It doesn’t surprise me in the least. So why did it take an "expert opinion" for me to recognize that ADD women (aka ADDivas) are intensely spiritual?

Yes, Ned Hallowell, M.D. wrote about spirituality and ADD and ADHD in his 2005 book about adult ADD, Delivered from Distraction. It clarified something I had suspected for a long time: our sensitivity allows us to be closer to the energies of life.

Tonight I watched a documentary created by a young man of 24 who was searching for "happiness." He knocked on the doors of many of today’s "living luminaries," as he called them; priests, rabbis, professors, popular authors (Marianne Williamson, Eckhard Tolle) to find out about happiness.

The answer, of course, lies is within each of us. Not that we each have a different recipe for happiness, but rather that happiness is not an end. Instead, it is an accidental byproduct of living in the moment, aware and awaken to the possibilities.

I believe that ADDivas – far from being simply caricatures of themselves – are in touch with the deepest pulse of life. We are open to the wisdom of the universe if we allow ourselves to listen intently to ourselves.

One of my clients is midway through a multi-week class on Mindfulness, a bringing of awareness to the present. She appreciates how the 30 minutes of meditation allows her to be more calm, be more within herself. It’s a good reminder for all of us.

Allow yourself to be fully present. Ignore the blinking messages on the machine, the hundreds of emails and errands. Instead, remember Who You REALLY Are: an integral and crucial part of this amazing matrix of Life. How your brain jumps from subject to subject or whether you’re taking medication or not isn’t really important in the Big Picture.

You are enough, just as you are. You are PERFECT just as you are. ADD is just a functional, physical pebble in our pond that wiggles to and fro as the water washes over it. You are NOT your ADD. You are your deepest, most wonderful self and you have a purpose in this world, during this lifetime.

I’ll paraphrase the wise quote: "Don’t die with your music still inside you." Let yourself sing, dance, create, LIVE…. full out!

The Law of Attraction and ADD – dream come true

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I know the Law of Attraction works (made famous recently by the movie THE SECRET (http://www NULL.thesecret NULL.tv/)). But I don’t often get a reminder as powerful as the one I received today:

An ADD client of mine – let’s call her Valerie (not her real name, of course) – came to our session today in a state of anxiety. She needed to find and move into a new apartment by the beginning of August – just 33 days from now.

She and her two young daughters have been living in a tiny 500-square-foot apartment while her husband works on a big project out-of-state. When hubby commutes home on the weekends, it’s close quarters. Eventually, the couple wants to buy a house – the larger apartment is a stopgap measure.

"Valerie" was discouraged; there were only a few rental vacancies in the school district she wanted for her daughter. Most of them were too expensive; after all, there are two households to support – his and hers.

"There aren’t any nice places I can afford out there," she said. "So many people want to live in that area. Plus, I get so overwhelmed trying to figure out the school district from the address. I have to go back and forth from the online listing to the school map."

Lots of details, scanning, moving back and forth between data bits–it sounded like a nightmare for an ADDiva like Valerie, or anyone with ADD, for that matter.

So I asked Valerie to close her eyes, take a few deep breaths and imagine moving into a home, townhome or apartment that was just perfect for her and her daughters. We took a virtual tour of the home as she created, starting at the front door, proceeding through all the rooms – kitchen, living room, dining room, bedrooms, baths, even the closets.

When she had a clear picture of the home in her mind, I asked her to tell me about it, expecting to hear about a modest two bedroom apartment.

To my surprise, she described a brand new dream house: granite countertops, upgraded cabinets, hardwood floors, an office with a place to curl up and read, walk-in closets, two car garage.

I was doubtful; it would be a big stretch financially to buy new construction. And she had some legal issues that stood in the way of getting a loan.

But the Law of Attraction says that if you ask for what you want and know that the answer is always YES, then you will create it for yourself. Mentally, I took a deep breath, hoping I wasn’t leading her astray.

"OK, you can have it that house!" I declared confidently. Valerie was stunned. "I can?" she asked with a nervous laugh.

"You bet," I said, realizing that she COULD have it….if she moved to a different area or was willing to spend most of her income on the house, cut down on restaurant expenses and vacations. Those weren’t sacrifices she could make right now.

"It might not happen immediately," I said. "You can’t go from zero to 60 miles per hour all at once. You might need to go from zero to 30 the first time, then hit the accelerator to reach 60."

So we did more visioning – this time about a spacious apartment that would be her "stepping stone" to that dream house.

Turns out, she had already found an apartment in the right school district that would be available August 8 — but where would she and her daughters live for those eight long days? We brainstormed about ways to negotiate with the old or new landlords and came to the conclusion that the worst case would mean storing her belongings for a week and living in a hotel. The girls would think it was an adventure and they could move into the new place before school started.

When Valerie left GardenSpirit, I was convinced she would work out a perfect solution to the apartment situation and I promised to send her the names and numbers of some inexpensive yet dependable movers.

About two hours later, I received an email from Valerie with the words "NEW HOUSE?" in the subject line. On her way home, she had stopped into the bank just to check on mortgage loans.

Turns out, the legal issues that stood in her way were not a deterrent to applying for a mortgage. And the payments on townhomes in her area will actually cost less per month than rent!

I know this works. I KNOW it. Yet it’s so reassuring to SEE the Law of Attraction in action. Even with ADDivas like Valerie.

Wow. Last time I talked to her, she was on the Multiple Listing Service site, finding lots of options for her first house. I know it will happen. I act ‘as if" it’s already happened. And by George, it DOES happen. Wow.