Category Archives: Live Your ADHD Dreams

ADD women deserve to dream again, to live the lives they were meant to live. Inspiration for resurrecting those dreams and living a life with passion and purpose.

Reminders I ignore at my peril

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I have been exposed to a lot of life wisdom. A lot of it.

And I forget it.

That’s why I need constant reminders to bring the important stuff in the back of my ADD brain back up to the front where it’s conscious and alive for me.

I am grateful for people in my life who offer me a path back to that wisdom and that’s what happened this weekend.

A new, but already dear, friend of mine gave me a book. She told me it had changed her life financially. Of course, I was intrigued.

I left it on the counter for 48 hours, then picked it up this morning and read it while I casually ate my steel cut oatmeal.  

The messages were famliar, like old friends slapping each other on the back at a class reunion. In my words, not the book’s words, they included concepts like:

"Decide where you want to go first."

"Write down your goals."

"Take one small step every day."

"Act as if you’ve already achieved your goals."

"What you focus on expands."

Ah yes, it was the Law of Attraction in action. I took a deep breath and smiled inwardly. This felt like home. I had once again been given the opportunity to remember Who I Really Am in the world. And my whole body was warm and cozy with the memory of my best, most vibrant and generous self.

It’s the reason I offer women’s retreats – to help other women remember Who They Truly Are and to find their own unique and wonderful path through their lives. I am so lucky to be doing what I love to do – opening the door to transformation and passion. It makes me smile even more.

So..since I can’t think of a good way to end this post, let me say this: you aren’t your ADHD. You are so much more. Find someone, something, a book, this blog post, to tease that back-of-the-brain wisdom back into clear view again.

You deserve it.

And so did I. Thanks for the book, Michele.

 

HOPE – ADDiva lessons from an election

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It’s been three days since Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States. No matter whether you are ecstatic or bummed about the outcome, the election offers profound implications that should give all ADDivas a dose of that magic elixir: HOPE.

Why? Because we, like Obama, face a world that uses rigid standards to separate "good" from "bad" and "right" from "wrong." We, like Obama, have been judged harshly by those rigid rules. We, like Obama, have been the target of ridicule, the scapegoat for problems, the odd duckling among stereotypical swans.

But Barack Obama shows us that whether our difference is in the color of our skin, the way our brain works or how many times we are late filing our taxes, we can transcend those challenges and rise – quite literally – to the top.

I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life that I was so tired of trying harder, going the extra mile, thinking ahead of the business people around the conference table, that I wanted it all to STOP. I was sick of playing by everyone else’s rules. I was exhausted from untwisting my pretzel-like self into a semi-straight line that passed for "normal." I wanted to go to bed, pull up the covers and hide until that neatly pressed world marched right on past me.

I don’t know Barack Obama personally. I suspect there were times in his life that he was discouraged, disheartened by the uphill road ahead. But I notice he didn’t go to bed and pull up the covers. He kept moving. He renewed his efforts. And most importantly, he never stopped believing in his dream. Never.

ADDivas would do well to take nourishment from that determination. Many of our dreams have been discarded; they litter the roads of our distant past. We turn away from them as proof of our failures and an accurate predictor of our futures.

But women with ADHD are not failures. We deserve to revisit our dreams - resurrecting those that still inspire us and creating new ones that have nudged themselves into our adult lives. And as we make that slow turn toward ourselves, welcoming that woman who is truly a miracle, truly unique and precious in the world, we ignite that four-letter word in ourselves and in those who witness our transformation.

HOPE. It’s not about elections. It’s about life. Your life. And you.

The Law of Attraction and ADD – dream come true

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I know the Law of Attraction works (made famous recently by the movie THE SECRET (http://www NULL.thesecret NULL.tv/)). But I don’t often get a reminder as powerful as the one I received today:

An ADD client of mine – let’s call her Valerie (not her real name, of course) – came to our session today in a state of anxiety. She needed to find and move into a new apartment by the beginning of August – just 33 days from now.

She and her two young daughters have been living in a tiny 500-square-foot apartment while her husband works on a big project out-of-state. When hubby commutes home on the weekends, it’s close quarters. Eventually, the couple wants to buy a house – the larger apartment is a stopgap measure.

"Valerie" was discouraged; there were only a few rental vacancies in the school district she wanted for her daughter. Most of them were too expensive; after all, there are two households to support – his and hers.

"There aren’t any nice places I can afford out there," she said. "So many people want to live in that area. Plus, I get so overwhelmed trying to figure out the school district from the address. I have to go back and forth from the online listing to the school map."

Lots of details, scanning, moving back and forth between data bits–it sounded like a nightmare for an ADDiva like Valerie, or anyone with ADD, for that matter.

So I asked Valerie to close her eyes, take a few deep breaths and imagine moving into a home, townhome or apartment that was just perfect for her and her daughters. We took a virtual tour of the home as she created, starting at the front door, proceeding through all the rooms – kitchen, living room, dining room, bedrooms, baths, even the closets.

When she had a clear picture of the home in her mind, I asked her to tell me about it, expecting to hear about a modest two bedroom apartment.

To my surprise, she described a brand new dream house: granite countertops, upgraded cabinets, hardwood floors, an office with a place to curl up and read, walk-in closets, two car garage.

I was doubtful; it would be a big stretch financially to buy new construction. And she had some legal issues that stood in the way of getting a loan.

But the Law of Attraction says that if you ask for what you want and know that the answer is always YES, then you will create it for yourself. Mentally, I took a deep breath, hoping I wasn’t leading her astray.

"OK, you can have it that house!" I declared confidently. Valerie was stunned. "I can?" she asked with a nervous laugh.

"You bet," I said, realizing that she COULD have it….if she moved to a different area or was willing to spend most of her income on the house, cut down on restaurant expenses and vacations. Those weren’t sacrifices she could make right now.

"It might not happen immediately," I said. "You can’t go from zero to 60 miles per hour all at once. You might need to go from zero to 30 the first time, then hit the accelerator to reach 60."

So we did more visioning – this time about a spacious apartment that would be her "stepping stone" to that dream house.

Turns out, she had already found an apartment in the right school district that would be available August 8 — but where would she and her daughters live for those eight long days? We brainstormed about ways to negotiate with the old or new landlords and came to the conclusion that the worst case would mean storing her belongings for a week and living in a hotel. The girls would think it was an adventure and they could move into the new place before school started.

When Valerie left GardenSpirit, I was convinced she would work out a perfect solution to the apartment situation and I promised to send her the names and numbers of some inexpensive yet dependable movers.

About two hours later, I received an email from Valerie with the words "NEW HOUSE?" in the subject line. On her way home, she had stopped into the bank just to check on mortgage loans.

Turns out, the legal issues that stood in her way were not a deterrent to applying for a mortgage. And the payments on townhomes in her area will actually cost less per month than rent!

I know this works. I KNOW it. Yet it’s so reassuring to SEE the Law of Attraction in action. Even with ADDivas like Valerie.

Wow. Last time I talked to her, she was on the Multiple Listing Service site, finding lots of options for her first house. I know it will happen. I act ‘as if" it’s already happened. And by George, it DOES happen. Wow.