http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLpwWUKm6KA

I saw an amazing ad last weekend – a woman in a wheelchair was poking gentle fun at her coworkers for being a little "different." There was an awkwardly-dressed young woman, a guy who had some issues with copiers and another with a loud voice. The wheelchair bound woman admitted to her own disability – coffee-making impaired.

It was GREAT. This could be SO helpful for ADHD folks like us. So I hurried to their website – www.thinkbeyondthelabel.com to see what they were doing on behalf of the "different" people who are employed (or trying to be).

It’s a new site, so not much is going on yet. But there was a link to send free e-cards to others as an aware-raising tactic. Great idea. Until I saw the first card. It was a young woman sitting at a completely cluttered desk with the caption "Clearing impaired – I hid a hundred dollar bill on your desk somewhere. Let me know if you find it…."

Ouch. That hurt.

The site that purported to lay waste to labels had just inflicted injury on the single most prevalent trait of ADHD – clutter. I wasted no time in drafting an email to them- this is it:

Dear Fabulous Administrator

I was thrilled to see your "think beyond the label"
PSA on TV last week and finally made it to your website.
Love the idea. Love the content. Don’t love the first
ecard, "Clearing Impaired."

The rest of your ecards are clearly making fun of
people who are really NOT impaired, but this one
is making fun of people with ADHD. Attention Deficit
Hyperactivity Disorder is  just as much a disability as being
confined to a wheelchair or having a visual impairment
(I know a lot about this since my son is both visually impaired
and ADHD). And ADHD IS covered by the ADA although
you’d never know it by the success rate of lawsuits. Even
four firefighters in Florida were defeated in their attempts
to receive simple accommodations for their ADHD. It’s
an uphill battle, since people think we could do better
if we’d "just try harder." Hmmmm … do they think people
in wheelchairs could walk if they’d "try harder?"

I know it’s picky but I am on a campaign to make sure
employers and the rest of the world know how devastating
ADHD can be. Estimates show the cost of ADHD in the workplace
is $19 million a year just in the US. And unfortunately,
ADHD folks DO miss more work than others with
disabilities. We are late. But we are brilliant and
creative and eager.

Please consider expanding your definition of
"disabled" to include Attention Deficit Hyperactivity
Disorder." We need a little love, too!

Thanks for listening
Linda

 

I invite you to visit the site, too. Maybe I was being too sensitive (another common trait for ADDivas like me). Or maybe they forgot that ADHD is a disability too….

Hugs

LInda

This article first appeared in ADDitude Magazine online.

I have a trunk full of reusable grocery bags. They make me feel so environmentally conscious. Until I get to the check out line and remember that they are … still in the trunk of my car.

Why can’t I remember to bring them IN to the store? (Oh yeah. ADD). Once, when there was no one in line behind me, I actually excused myself and ran outside to get them. Of course, by the time I returned, six people were glaring at me, waiting impatiently to check out. Won’t do that again.

But what’s the point of having reusable bags if I don’t, eh, USE them?

A good friend of mine unwittingly solved my ADD-ish problem with her Christmas gift last year. She gave me a ChicoBag. I love these little critters!

ChicoBags are fat little bundles that expand to full size grocery bags. Made of polyester, these mighty little sacks can hold up to 25 pounds of groceries (the larger size holds 40 pounds!).

Each one has a self-fabric storage sack sewn into the bottom seam (so ADD folks like me never lose it). And best of all, the ChicoBag has a carabiner (hook) so it attaches to your purse, belt loop, notebook, shopping list, you name it! I love the bright colors, too. Some of the newest ChicoBags are made of 99% recycled materials – even better for the environment!

I bought several more at the ChicoBag website for $5 each. What a bargain! And if you buy five, the company throws in the sixth one for free.

I attached three ChicoBags to my purse on an unused key ring. I know I look a bit like a pack animal with my pink, purple and green bags, but hey – I’m using them! Sometimes, I even use them at the hardware store or department store, too.

 It’s a perfect ADD tool:

A.  There are no parts to lose
B.  The little hook lets me take it with me everywhere
C.  Comes in bright colors so it doesn’t get lost in my piles
D.  It’s cheap and good quality

I just love it when something works for me and my ADD.

I love it even more when it also helps the environment.

Viva Green ADDiva!

This article first appeared in ADDitude Magazine online.

Cosmo’s doggie stroller reminds me that we ADD folks also need a little boost when we get tired halfway through doing the dishes or organizing our closets.

"Do dogs really need their own stroller?"

I mulled this question for several weeks before I finally plunked down my credit card on the dog stroller website and bought a few months (or years) of freedom for Cosmo, my 14-year-old Sheltie.

Like any living being that is the equivalent of 85 in human years, Cosmo has a few aches and pains: a bad back, arthritic shoulder, painful hips. He sleeps most of the day and night. But he still loves his walks. When I lace up my walking shoes, he perks up and trots out to the garage to be harnessed into his leash.

Cosmo, and his younger counterpart Boomer, launch our walks with great enthusiasm, nosing around mailboxes, checking out the latest deer tracks. But on the way home, Cosmo’s optimism is overshadowed by his physical ailments. He slows down, limping with each step.

A couple of times, I tried to carry him home, but 40 wiggly pounds gets heavy after a couple of blocks. I left him at home, which broke his heart. The stroller was my last hope, even though I was a bit embarrassed to order it –- after all, this is a DOG we’re talking about. (OK, I also cook for my dogs, but that’s another story.)

That doggie stroller works beautifully, though. I push it empty on the first leg of our journey and when Cosmo tires, I lift him gently into the stroller and push it "with dog" the rest of the way.

That stroller reminds me that we ADD folks also need a little boost when we get tired halfway through doing the dishes or organizing our closets. Our initial optimism and enthusiasm can take a nosedive. Our brains poop out and our bodies follow suit.

Like Cosmo, we have a few aches and pains going on in our ADD brains. We need the equivalent of a doggie stroller to get us back on track. Choosing the right kind of boost is important.

Sometimes we simply need to take our next dose of ADHD medication. Sometimes it’s better to call our therapist or a good friend, or to make an appointment for a neurofeedback session. Like Cosmo’s doggie stroller, we need to tailor our support specifically to meet our ADHD needs.

And then we need to accept that assistance with grace and appreciation. None of this "no, no thanks, I can do it myself" kind of stuff. We know better. We won’t do it ourselves. We’ll stay off track. And then feel bad about ourselves. Again. Which makes it even harder to get back ON track. Sometime we never get back…

So just in case you’re waiting for it, here’s permission to ask for what you need. Hire an ADHD coach or a professional organizer. Join an ADHD support group — online or in person. Sign up for reminders from an appointments-online website. Whatever you need most, make it happen. Then, be grateful for the boost it gives you to make it all the way to DONE — the most beautiful word in the ADHD language!

This article first appeared in ADDitude Magazine online.

I can see clearly now — but only when I can find my glasses. So, I have discovered the best invention ever for attention deficit adults.

For the most part, I don’t mind getting older (quite possibly because I am in denial).  “Age spots” don’t send shudders down my spine – they look like freckles to me. I’ve never had freckles; they seem kinda friendly, like Pippi Longstocking.

And I’ve never been obsessed about the differential between the year I was born and the year displayed on my cell phone. Birthdays, schmirthdays. Who cares? I admit, however, I’m a bit shocked that 60 is coming at me like a freight train. Oh how my attitude changes with perspective! As an adolescent, my matter-of-fact view was that by 60 you were on death’s doorstep; today, I’m convinced that 60 really IS the new 40; or 35.

But when I have to squint to read the instructions on the back of the pizza box (they made the print smaller, I swear), I’m ready to turn back the clock. Reading glasses, of course, make all the difference in my reading comprehension.  Sadly, my glasses are rarely within an arm’s reach, my first criterion for actually plopping them on my face.

I thought I’d solve the problem by stashing multiple pairs of inexpensive readers all over the house (Costco kindly sells them in the convenient three-pack). But somehow the glasses migrate to my computer or bedside, under papers, stuck in drawers, tangled into a magnifying heap.

So imagine my delight when I discovered that the FOFA folks (that’s Find One Find All, the best invention ever for ADDivas) had unveiled a new locator device for glasses. Woo hoo!

A word of explanation: a couple of years ago I found a fabulous key locator in, of all places, Radio Shack (yes, yes, I “located” a key locator!). The package contained two devices, one for a key ring, the other for a wallet. Each had six buttons with numbers. I learned how to set up the locator so that when I lost the car keys, for instance, I could press “1” on the wallet device and the key ring would beep. If I lost my wallet, I could press “2” on the key ring and the wallet device would beep. Great idea, great execution. I only needed to find one thing with the beeper and I could find up to six other missing objects that were attached to a FOFA. I wanted more of them, but Radio Shack stopped selling them.

I delved into the Internet to track down the manufacturer (“made in China” was my only clue). Finally I found it, a small company in Texas owned by the “Find One, Find All” inventor.

I ordered several sets of their ‘new and improved’ FOFA model, attaching one to my camera, my van keys, my purse, my cell phone. They worked! What a miracle; I wanted to buy stock in the company. I eagerly ordered the new glasses locator.

It was, well, a disappointment. I’m sure it’s my ADD sensitivities, but I can’t stand even a tiny bit of weight around my neck. The little button panel, even shrunk down to less than half its original size, proved far too distracting for me.

So, I’m heading back to Costco today. A few more three-packs and I’ll have so many pairs of readers, they’ll always be within an arms reach. And perhaps I won’t burn the pizza next time.

This article first appeared in ADDitude Magazine online.

Of course not!
That’s a silly question!
Everyone knows that ADD is only one small part of me.
I am MORE than my ADD.
Right?

Then why are there websites and podcasts and books and organizers and therapists and, yes, coaches, who are eager to help me “deal with” my ADHD?  They have tips and tricks and advice oozing from every pore and every  page.

“Break the big job into smaller ones.”
“Begin with the end in mind.”
“Stop working on the computer two hours before bedtime.”

I’ve spent a lifetime memorizing these and hundreds of other helpful tips and tricks. I have schedulers and timers and colored folders and project management software. I’ve even recommended them to my clients. I know HOW to get organized, be on time, deliver on my promises. Yet I’ve mastered none of them. And frankly, I’m tired of trying.

I can’t shake the feeling that the world ‘out there’ believes that the operative word in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is “deficit.” That’s awfully close to “deficient.” And a long way from “fulfilled,” which is the adjective I’ve chosen to describe the rest of my life.

I unconsciously fall into it, this sense of being “less than” those perplexing folks whose neurotransmitters play together nicely. And I am usually unaware that I have clicked into my compensatory mode, either tap dancing to cover my deficits or applying a thick layer of my most effective Tips and Tricks. I can fake being “normal” for a while, but I have no endurance. The façade melts and I am exposed.

Now that I’m older, I don’t cringe nearly as often as I once did when I was “outed” as an ADDiva. But I do take a look at my patterns. With as much “work” as I’ve done with therapists, coaches, books and all the rest, I am dismayed to find that sometimes my gut response is still shame, followed by an urgent need to “try harder.” Even deeper though, is my realization that I am simply exhausted by the effort. It’s not worth it any more. To my body, my psyche, my energy.

Surely, surely, I can release the growling undercurrent that monitors my ADD-ish behaviors. Or at least notice it before it controls my thoughts and actions. When I’m on my deathbed, I don’t want my last words to be:  “Well, I was almost linear!”

Of COURSE there is more to life than dealing with ADD. Everyone knows that. It’s the popular answer, ADD wisdom du jour.  But honestly, how much of our lives ARE spent with ADD at the helm? If I am truthful, 100 percent. ADD isn’t a mask I can take off at night. I am not “more” than my ADD. I am ADD and ADD is I. Or perhaps ADD R Me.

So the harder question is: how do I move from “dealing with” ADD to “living with” ADD and thriving as a result of ADD? How do I look ADD in the eye, acknowledge its breath and depth and treat it as a respected ally instead of a pesky nuisance to be shooed away and thwarted at every turn?

I don’t have the answer. This inquiry deserves more than a flippant remark or a clichéd retort. My suspicion is that each of us will make peace (and friends) with our ADD with as much variety and creativity as our wild-child brains allow.

So I invite you into the question. How do YOU go deeper, beyond the “let’s fix it” stage? How do you put your arm around ADD and walk down the road with it, knowing that there is one absolute certainty: that ADD will never desert you?  It is yours (and you) for as long as you live. How do you move from “endurance” to “fulfillment” starting right now? 

This article first appeared in ADDitude Magazine online.

My husband and I went out for dinner last week. Victor ordered crab legs. I didn’t.

I love crab legs; they’re almost as good as lobster. But I haven’t ordered or eaten them in years. Why? It’s the process: wrestling with that metal vise-like thing to crack open the shell; using those teeny tiny little forks to dig out a small morsel of crab; dipping it into the drawn butter, trying not to lose it at the bottom of the bowl and finally getting a bite to my mouth.

Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Ur, no, that’s shampoo.

But it might as well be crab legs. It’s all about repeating the same steps over and over. After the first few bites, it gets pretty boring. I’m not in the mood to play with shells when I’m really hungry.

Ditto for seeds, as in watermelon seeds. Let’s face it: the best part of a watermelon is that sweet juicy center that has no seeds at all. If I were completely selfish or extravagant, I’d sit down with half a watermelon and eat only that center section and only down to the “seed layer.”

Since I’m neither selfish nor extravagant, I end up with a wedge of watermelon that has, at most, three good bites without seeds. Then I am forced to be on high alert for small darkish shadows, the “seed aura,” if you will.  And then I have to decide on the least offensive way to get rid of them. It’s just too much trouble; too much thinking.

I’m struck by how insanely petulant this sounds; I’m complaining about a few seeds or shells at a time when so many people in our world go to bed hungry each night. And yet, this is my reality. My ADD reality.

In the “bad old days,” before I knew anything about ADD, I was ashamed of being so “picky” about small details, agonizing over things that were unimportant to other people. It was only after my diagnosis that I realized that, unconsciously, I had been taking care of myself in the most tender way imaginable. I was conserving my precious patience and focus so they were available when I needed them most. Perhaps at school. Or with my sons. Or driving to work.

The older I get, the more I want to spend my energy on things that matter to me: my husband, my friends, my clients, my retreats, my Shelties, my children and their children. I have a perfect right to be “picky” about my choices. I’ve given myself permission to set up a life that accommodates my limited supply of concentration.

It’s OK if I decide to skip the watermelon and crab legs. It’s OK for me to sit at the back of the room so I can wiggle in my seat, or even doze off. It’s OK for me to work all night and take an afternoon nap. Because this is my life. Mine. I claim it. I create it. I live it. Even if it clashes with someone else’s reality, someone who adores watermelon, for instance.

I’m reminded of my favorite scene from the wonderfully funny movie “On Golden Pond” with Katherine Hepburn. Hepburn’s character is reassuring her young grandson that his grandfather (played by Henry Fonda) loves him deeply, even in his most cantankerous moments.

“Sometimes,” says Hepburn, “you have to look hard at a person and remember he’s doing the best he can. He’s just trying to find his way, that’s all. Just like you.”

I’m just trying to find my way, my ADD-ish way.

Just like you.

A friend of mine sent me a link to "Despair, Inc." which is the pessimist’s dream come true (if pessimists believed in dreams…). Tons of anti-inspirational posters and other stuff that is so, so true on occasion.

New item releasing in about two weeks? A social media T-shirt that’s a Venn diagram that intersects ADHD, Stalking and Narcissism. Not a nice combo but it’s pretty funny (although this was the first I’d heard of Twitterstalk.com)

I might have to own one of these actually….

If you want one, visit Despair, Inc.

And if you want an ADDiva T-shirt (instead or in addition to…) they are on SALE this month through the 4th of July!  Regular $20, now just $16 plus shipping (and tax if you live in NC).

Click here and enter Tee20 for the coupon code! Good only through midnight July 4th 2009!

Hugs and love
Linda

Well, I’m always on the lookout for possible ADHD "solutions" — or more accurately, products and ideas that will support ADHD in a positive and encouraging light. So, I was de-LIGHTed to find a product that blocks the blue LIGHT waves that can suppress melatonin production, which in turn can make it difficult to go to sleep at night.

Read the rest of this entry »

Erica, my dear friend and professional organizer, hates the way I file. Well, perhaps it’s not quite that strong an emotion, but she does shake her head at my complex filing system and (occasionally) sighs deeply.

I micro file, you see.

It’s the only way I can find things after I file them (this of course assumes that I actually force myself to endure the single most boring job in the universe: filing semi-important papers).

I need to separate things that live together from those that don’t. Gold star for Linda: that’s Organizing 101. But I have discovered that my definition of "things that live together" is a bit peculiar – at least to the organizing world.

For instance, Erica (mistakenly) believes that Life Insurance, Investments and Retirement can be lumped together in one drawer of my filing cabinet. ACK! NO!

In my ADDiva brain, Life Insurance is about Death and gets filed with the Wills and Five Wishes (really important documents about End of Life wishes).

Investments are about Money and go with the (very skinny) Financial Planning files.

And Retirement has two distinct sections: before 65 and after 65. The ‘young’ retirement files go up front with tantalizing articles about places to visit and pay stubs that show much we are contributing to the 401k. The ‘old’ retirement files go behind with the Social Security statements and a summary of all the different places we have little bits of money for retirement.

See? Complicated. Even a little OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). But it makes sense to me. I wrote this entire post without even getting out of my chair to look at the files in person, yet I knew exactly where Retirement, Investments and Life Insurance were located. That’s how intuitive it all is to my ADDiva brain.

It took me a while to get to this point. I have to think HARD about what is intuitive for me. Where would I look for Life Insurance? What does that mean to me? What’s similar in my mind?

Then I try out the system. Does it work? Can I find things? Does it take me 30 minutes to remember my previous "intuition?" If so, it’s probably not that intuitive, after all. So I adjust. To make it work FOR ME.

And that’s the point. No matter what your system is, if it works for YOU, it works. Period.

Let yourself off the hook – stop trying to follow the "rules" of Organizing.

Create your own system and let it work for YOU.

Whew – what a relief, eh?

More travel tips from ADDiva One:

7) Use travel tight screw lid bottles to pack only a week’s worth of shampoo, conditioner and other products. I refill them when I get back home so they are travel-ready again.

Anything that could spills inside my suitcase goes in plastic. My cosmetic bag is plastic-lined and I have several smaller plastic-lined bags for hair products, medication, hair dryer and brushes.

9) Buy a duplicate set of cosmetics and hair products just for travel. It’s less expensive to buy your favorites at home then to try to replace them in a strange city (where you have to first FIND the right store and then GET there and back).

10) Carry 2-3 days worth of meds in your carry-on just in case your luggage gets lost in transit. In my experience, medications do not need to be in their original bottles or labeled as long as you pack a reasonable quantity for your trip.

11) Pack some lightweight snacks in your carry-on: pretzels, energy bars, nuts, dried fruit. And buy a bottle of water after you get through security. You never know when you might end up sitting on the tarmac for hours because of weather or other delays.

12) Take a lightweight bag for dirty undies and socks. Mine is a Tyvek bag designed as a super light bag to bring home souvenirs. Find them at travel stores or online shops.

13) Pack only two pairs of shoes – they add a tremendous amount of weight to your suitcase.

14) Wear slip-on shoes that are comfortable – you will have to remove them in the security line so make it easy to get them on and off. I prefer to wear socks so I am not barefoot on those dirty airport floors, but hey that’s just me.

15) Don’t drag along heavy books. If you want something to read, try magazines that can be discarded along the way (tear out all the pages with ads only before you leave to lighten your load). And don’t BUY books to bring home. You can ship them home if you like, but unless it’s something you can’t find at home, leave it at the bookstore. Or buy it and pass it along.

16) Think black coordinates for clothing. Everything goes with black, even in the summer. You really don’t have to be a fashionista when you travel. If a special occasion calls for something fabulous, pack a crushable black dress or dressy pants, then decide whether you’re willing to sacrifice one of your "shoe slots" for shoes you may wear only once.

17) Take one super comfy outfit to hang around the hotel room. I pack a pair of cotton sweat pants and a casual T-shirt that won’t be worn "out" but let me feel completely relaxed.

18) If you’re taking your laptop pack it in an easily accessible place so you don’t hold up the security line fishing for it. It must go in a "tub" by itself on the conveyor belt.

19) Buy an Eagle Creek padded bag to contain your computer charger, travel mouse, earbuds, flash drive, blank CD, USB cord, camera charger and battery, three-pronged plug expander and USB hub if you need it.

20) Eagle Creek also makes mesh bags in various sizes which are wonderful for packing underwear, socks, hose, swimsuit, etc.

21) Don’t forget the charger for your digital camera. Otherwise, when the battery goes you are stuck using disposable cameras. Ditto for the camera download wire to your computer … to avoid using all your memory card the first day.

22) A featherweight umbrella used only for travel will seem like an extravagance…until it rains on the entire tour of the prehistoric ruins you were eager to see.

Foreign travel

23) Check the electricity voltage before you leave. No sense taking your 110v curling iron if the 220V will burn it up the first day. There are good dual-current appliances on the market at reasonable cost.

24) Check the connector type, too. New Zealand and Hong Kong both use 220v current but the plugs are vastly different. Get a converter kit before you leave home; don’t expect to find them in the country you are visiting!

25) If you need a break from local food, try stocking your hotel room from the nearest convenience store. Sometimes a few cookies and beef jerky tastes good after spicy hot kim chi or heavy cream soups.

For long trips that require crossing several time zones (my internal clock goes beserk) allow several days to readjust. Don’t plan BIG events the day after you arrive. Be gentle with yourself.